decisons

where i go to school just made a hiring decision (well, not entirely, but they launched the process to hire a candidate.) we (all the students) weren't excited about said candidate, but all the faculty were, and so the person's in.

i was talking about this on the phone last night, with a friend, and was getting worked up. this is bad for the program, bad for incoming students, etc, etc. I told her (and i do honestly think those things.) still, my friend asked, after maybe 15 minutes, why do you care so much?

i've been thinking about that all day: it's a great question. i won't personally have said professor. and though i feel highly invested in our program, ultimately, i'm sure the school has had questionable people before & has still thrived, & honestly, this person may turn out to be fantastic. & frankly, we suspected, as students, that our input wouldn't matter all that much.

i find myself thinking, after that conversation, that, though caring is good, i want to care about things that matter--really matter. not just hiring decisions or thesis work or even my job. those are all good things, but not the best things--and i guess, not the things i want to allot most of my caring & energy to. i'm not sure what that means exactly--to still work really hard & do a good job, but to also realize this stuff isn't of highest import, and there are things out there that are.